A Look Inside

I looked back on my life over the past several years tonight and realized I have changed. I am not liking all the changes though and am really going to pray that God would help me to improve. I have asked Mary to aid me in this, because I am sure she sees my plight. I want to be more kind to those around me and be less judgmental. I sometimes get soooo frustrated with myself, but that comes with my personality :-) Something I need to remember that a friend reminded me of is that God is patient with me so I need to be patient with myself. Ok, time for bed!

Vacation

I have been on break since the 14th of December and don't go back until January 14th. I am ready to go stir crazy! I like to be busy and have lots to do so this isn't sitting well with me. Monday I am calling about a job, so hopefully I will be able to work a little bit for the remainder of my time home. Tomorrow I am planning on going to Columbus to look around and do some grocery shopping. I really need to get out and meet new people. I must face my fears.

Sugar

I have recently realized just how bad sugar and white flour are for you. Sugar in small quantities is fine, but usually we have it everyday. I am going to cut both from my diet and see how I feel. I had planned on not eating dessert for Lent, but figured starting a few weeks early couldn't hurt. Eating at Marian like this will be difficult, but I dropped my meal plan down to 10 per week. So I can take that extra money and buy more food each week. I also need to become inventive with the microwave :-)

I wonder...

Some of you know that my memory has been really bad ever since I started school this past fall. This not so good memory of mine has me sometimes e-mailing a person 2 or 3 different times because I keep forgetting something that I was either going to ask or say. So this leads me to wonder if people take this the wrong way. Like "I think she is psycho and needs a life." I will be talking to someone and they will toss in a comment and whatever I was going to say next is *poof* gone. This is so aggravating for me, but I wonder if this is bugging others.

I am also extremely tired right now. I spent many hours cleaning tonight to get the house ready for Christmas Eve tomorrow. I shampooed the carpet in 2 rooms, ran the sweeper, wiped down the kitchen cabinets, cleaned off the washer and dryer (huge task!), 2-3 loads of laundry, 1 load of dishes, baked a batch of cookies, and then hauled the trash out to the road. Time for me to see the back of my eyelids.

This new life.

I am not accustomed to the college schedule. I have been tired ever since I got home from school, and am sooo not motivated to do much. Today I overslept by 2 hours! I never sleep that late and this week I have done it to some degree every morning. I need to start exercising again because that always helps to make me feel better and to motivate me.

Take a deep breath...

I have so much to do tomorrow that it's not even funny. I have to get up early and start packing for Florida and I have a doctors appointment in the afternoon. Then at 3 p.m. I have my last final exam! I hope I am prepared for it, but I can't worry about it now because that will only make it worse. I also have a list of errands I have to run because I couldn't squeeze them in today. In the evening I am going over to a friends house to do some baking and that will be the end of my day. I also have to pack for my month that I will be home. They lock up the dorms and don't let anyone in which is silly to me, but I don't make the rules. What about people who live on the other side of the country?? Anyway, I fly out Friday morning and I am soooo excited! I checked the weather and it's supposed to rain while I am there and I am praying that God will have mercy on me and not let it rain the entire time. I have had it with rain, and so hasn't my poor African Violet. She is actually starting to die because she hasn't had enough sunlight here recently. Sad. Ok, time for bed. I hope everyone has a great weekend :-)

Holy Drinking Water?!?

Sometimes I wonder what will happen to our world. I ran across this article this morning about Wayne Enterprises in California. They are manufacturing holy drinking water. It is blessed by an Anglican or Catholic priest prior to shipment. Can you believe it?! I know I couldn't. The link is below so take a look!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/74380?GT1=10645

Almost

I am almost finished with my last paper of the semester and these last 2 pages are taking a lifetime! I wish writing came easily, but it just doesn't. Some people have the ability to write a 5 or so page paper in a matter of hours while it takes me 5 days. The weather is also not helping me out. I have always been really affected by rain and gray clouds, and that happens to be what we have been looking at for several days. I need sunshine!! Florida can't come soon enough :-) Ok, enough of that. Time to get this paper done!

Faithfulness

God is so faithful and merciful. I had the privilege of reading A Moment of Weakness by Karen Kingsbury today and God used it show me my weakness. I can remember 2 years ago being so strong in my faith and always trusting in Gods plan no matter what. Through a series of events I started not trusting Him. It wasn't until a few days ago that I realized the full extent of it. I want to have a faith and a trust in God that wasn't like what it used to be, but something even stronger! I want to look to the future with hope and joy instead of with fear and dread. When doubtful thoughts come I want to hear the Holy Spirits voice over everything else. God takes me as I am, and with His help I want Him to mold me into a woman of God that is overflowing with trust in her Savior.

Rest

Tonight on my way to bed I ran across a wonderful Psalm and wanted to share it. God is so good and we shouldn't forget that!

Psalm 63
O God, you are my God--
for you I long!
For you my body yearns;
for you my soul thirsts,
Like a land parched, lifeless,
and without water.
So I look to you in the sanctuary
to see your power and glory.
For your love is better than life,
my lips offer you worship!

I will bless you as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands, calling on your
name.
My soul shall savor the rich banquet of
praise,
with joyous lips my mouth shall honor
you!
When I think of you upon my bed,
through the night watches I will recall
That you indeed are my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I
shout for joy.
My soul clings fast to you;
Your right hand upholds me.

But those who seek my life will come to
ruin;
they shall go down to the depths of
the earth!
They shall be handed over to the sword
and become the prey of jackals!
But the king shall rejoice in God;
all who swear by the Lord shall exult,
for the mouths of liars will be shut!